My sinfulness is showing...

As I share the awesome news of the Gospel with students on campus, I'm confronted with this word called "sin". To the average student, that word rings hollow. It's a word used in Church, or by parents to make you feel badly. It's archaic and probably refers to really bad people who do really bad things. I've often struggled with how to share the depth of sin, how to explain it's more than just robbing banks or killing people.

What I'm coming to understand is that sin is more than actions; it's the blackness of our hearts. When the Bible talks about the sinfulness of mankind, it's not referring to a list of bad stuff we do, although humankind does persist in doing stupid and selfish things. What the Bible is actually referring to is the condition of our hearts, the deep, inner pull we feel to...well, ourselves.

What am I getting at? Well, people often ask me how it is, finally living in Vancouver with Varun. Isn't it wonderful!? Yes, it is! But I would posit that few things in the world reveal one's sinfulness to oneself like living in an intimate relationship. This experience, I believe, demonstrates the depth of sin in each of our hearts. It is, in the furnace of love and passion called relationship that our motives and desires are refined, burning away the selfish ambitions so that only the pure and selfless ones remain. It's this separation of motives, the refining that reveals the wickedness within me. Here is the one I say I love, and yet how often do I serve and help him all while secretly hoping he'll return the favor? How often do I feel resentment and pride swelling up in me? I see each day that what I call "love" is actually my selfish heart wrapping itself in a saint's cloak. How ironic.

No, sin is not so simple as murder and robbery. Sin is the taskmaster that drives us to panic and achieve and fight and protect ourselves at all cost. Jocquain Miller wrote, "That man who lives for self alone, Lives for the meanest mortal known. " Don't we all live for the meanest mortal known, our dissatisfied, disgruntled and disenchanted self?

And so, with this heavy understanding of my sinfulness, I can see why the Gospel is, in fact, "Good news". It's not just a story about Jesus, the hippie in a dress from 30 AD. This is an epic about life and death, freedom and curse! How many times have I said or uttered the phrase, "Jesus died on the cross for my sins". And yet I always picture Jesus dying for the good guys. I picture Him dying for me knowing I'm awesome and that I love Him. Really, Jesus died for the self-righteous pharisees, the unrepentant rich young ruler, for the Roman soldiers who crucified Him...He died for me in my self righteous and unrepentant state. God sees me in my most vain, self seeking, prideful moment and says, "That's Amelia. I love her. I died for her." CrAzY! But I'm serious! Romans 5:8 says, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us".

So there you have it. The Gospel is Good News because it's like winning the cosmic lottery without even having bought a ticket (a poor analogy, I know, but cut me some slack). We are in no way deserving God's love or mercy, and yet He died to deliver it to us. Am I sinful? Completely. Am I loved by the creator of the universe? Yes. Incredibly.

Life Giving

Beth, my staff guru, is gone this week. As a result, I lead her Bible study this afternoon. As we met to discuss how God has created us uniquely and wonderfully, I was thrilled to see the enthusiasm and joy of the girls. Because it's a leadership study, the girls in it have been in Campus for Christ for a while, they're committed to God and are passionate about seeing Him known at UBC. It was so fun to read the word with them and see how real God is in their lives. I was super encouraged by their maturity and joyful hearts.
The title of this entry comes from a beautiful and passionate girl, Grace (affectionately called "Gracious"). I have been incredibly inspired by Grace's passion for God, desire to share His love with her friends and her enthusiasm for life. I think if you watch this video, you'll see what i mean! Grace said to me today that I'm "life giving"...but really, I think these girls are!

"Is my friend a bad Christian?"

"So is my friend a bad Christian?", Frances asked me last thursday over lunch. I met Frances earlier this year while eating dinner in the first year residence. Frances is from Taiwan and is studying music at UBC for a year. She and I have been meeting regularly to talk about life and faith. This particular question stemmed from me explaining to her why Varun and I aren't living together before marriage. Many of her friends who claim to be Christians have done so, hence her confusion.

I proceeded to explain to Frances that unlike other worldviews or "God stories", Christianity isn't about being "good" or "bad". We're all bad. No matter how hard we try, we'll all mess up and walk away from God...that's called sin. As I explained to her that Jesus lived the perfect life and then died for all of the bad things I've done, all the bad things Frances has done, all the bad things all of us has done, her face lit up. Little by little, Frances is coming to understand that faith in Jesus isn't about trying really hard, it's about letting go and accepting God's forgiveness.

Towards the end of our conversation, Frances asked if she could invite her friend Jennie to our next meeting. Frances insists that Jennie is Christian but doesn't know how to be one. Tonight, we'll be having dinner together and I'm praying that God will open up a door for me to share the Gospel with them.

Please join me in praying for these two interested girls!