As I share the awesome news of the Gospel with students on campus, I'm confronted with this word called "sin". To the average student, that word rings hollow. It's a word used in Church, or by parents to make you feel badly. It's archaic and probably refers to really bad people who do really bad things. I've often struggled with how to share the depth of sin, how to explain it's more than just robbing banks or killing people.
What I'm coming to understand is that sin is more than actions; it's the blackness of our hearts. When the Bible talks about the sinfulness of mankind, it's not referring to a list of bad stuff we do, although humankind does persist in doing stupid and selfish things. What the Bible is actually referring to is the condition of our hearts, the deep, inner pull we feel to...well, ourselves.
What am I getting at? Well, people often ask me how it is, finally living in Vancouver with Varun. Isn't it wonderful!? Yes, it is! But I would posit that few things in the world reveal one's sinfulness to oneself like living in an intimate relationship. This experience, I believe, demonstrates the depth of sin in each of our hearts. It is, in the furnace of love and passion called relationship that our motives and desires are refined, burning away the selfish ambitions so that only the pure and selfless ones remain. It's this separation of motives, the refining that reveals the wickedness within me. Here is the one I say I love, and yet how often do I serve and help him all while secretly hoping he'll return the favor? How often do I feel resentment and pride swelling up in me? I see each day that what I call "love" is actually my selfish heart wrapping itself in a saint's cloak. How ironic.
No, sin is not so simple as murder and robbery. Sin is the taskmaster that drives us to panic and achieve and fight and protect ourselves at all cost. Jocquain Miller wrote, "That man who lives for self alone, Lives for the meanest mortal known. " Don't we all live for the meanest mortal known, our dissatisfied, disgruntled and disenchanted self?
And so, with this heavy understanding of my sinfulness, I can see why the Gospel is, in fact, "Good news". It's not just a story about Jesus, the hippie in a dress from 30 AD. This is an epic about life and death, freedom and curse! How many times have I said or uttered the phrase, "Jesus died on the cross for my sins". And yet I always picture Jesus dying for the good guys. I picture Him dying for me knowing I'm awesome and that I love Him. Really, Jesus died for the self-righteous pharisees, the unrepentant rich young ruler, for the Roman soldiers who crucified Him...He died for me in my self righteous and unrepentant state. God sees me in my most vain, self seeking, prideful moment and says, "That's Amelia. I love her. I died for her." CrAzY! But I'm serious! Romans 5:8 says, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us".
So there you have it. The Gospel is Good News because it's like winning the cosmic lottery without even having bought a ticket (a poor analogy, I know, but cut me some slack). We are in no way deserving God's love or mercy, and yet He died to deliver it to us. Am I sinful? Completely. Am I loved by the creator of the universe? Yes. Incredibly.
2 comments:
Good post, Amelia. What you wrote has been something that's been on my mind/heart as of late. I'm always amazed (and ashamed) of how deep the roots of sin are in my life, the selfishness that dwells beneath the surface of the "good Mindy". God's love for us continues to boggle my mind; it doesn't make any sense as to why He would! Man, we are so incredibly blessed!
Hi Amelia,
THis is so encouraging. Thanks for sharing and being open to edify HIs body. Love ya, sis! Pray God's spirit of joy continue to rest upon you. Life-giving is intentional =) Thanks, sis.
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